Below is an entry from my journal that I wrote back in April:
The past few weeks I have resigned myself to believing that I will never be free from bondage to food and vanity. That this would be my "thorn in the flesh.." maybe. That I would likely always struggle and have to rely on disciplining myself through dieting and never be truly "Free."
I believe the Lord told me this morning that I was wrong. I can see that the past few weeks I have had less and less victory in these areas , so "accepting" it has not helped. And even the intimacy I've had with the Lord has diminished some. I believe that I enjoyed greater intimacy before because I was seeking to walk with Him through this even though it did not appear to be helping. I was seeking Him to meet a deep desire of my heart...one of the very deepest.
I believe he has given me 1 Corinthians 9:24-27:
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.
He is telling me, "run, compete, obtain the prize." The prize is FREEDOM. He, ultimately is the prize!
He has shown me that the past few weeks I was "running with uncertainty." (v. 26)
He is making it very clear to me now that this is His word to me, "fight, run, focus on the prize, don't give up..."
There is NOTHING like a personal word from the Lord! He is the prize!!