Friday, May 30, 2008

Confession

Following is a prayer from my heart. I share this to give you a glimpse into what the Lord is doing in me in this season and in hopes that it might help someone out there who might feel alone in their struggles with food. Because food-related sin is so widely accepted in our culture, it's easy to feel alone if you are trying to deal with it spiritually rather than in the flesh.

Father,

I come before you and repent to You for pridefully not heeding Your voice when you cautioned me against eating a second helping of dessert. I rationalized it in my mind, "It's a tiny brownie...I haven't eaten much today...It should be okay with the Lord..." But I did not ask.

The truth is, my sin was not eating the brownie. My sin was refusing to stop and ask You if it was Your perfect will for me while having a heart that has no will of its own except to hear the will of my Father. (John 5:30)

You have asked me, "Do you want to be made well?" (John 5:6)
My answer is, "yes, Lord."
You have said that You will free me from my bondage to food if I surrender to You all of the time. You have told me that if I doubt in my heart that you want me to eat something, that I am to stop, ask You, listen to You and obey You.

So, Lord, I confess to you that although your still, small voice prompted me to question whether you wanted me to eat that brownie or not, I ignored You. I am sorry, Lord. And I ask that you would bring me to full repentance...hatred for my sin. Help me to see that it's not about the brownie...it's about our relationship.

"Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30

Thank you, Lord that by the blood of your son, Jesus Christ that I am forgiven, cleansed and commanded to "go and sin no more." Thank you for loving me no matter how many times I fail and that you always welcome me to come to You when I do. No matter how many times I need to come, you say, "Come." I love you.

I also wanted to add that when I shared a prayer request several days ago, It was very quickly answered. Thank you for your prayers and I would greatly appreciate your prayers for this issue.

2 comments:

Missy said...

"Because food-related sin is so widely accepted in our culture, it's easy to feel alone if you are trying to deal with it spiritually rather than in the flesh."

Brand, I truly understand what you mean here and feel the same way. I know it's not really about food at all. It is about surrender.

However, I must say that my initial reaction while reading your prayer was to say that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself - it's just a brownie. Then I realized I was reacting in such a wordly way - the same way that made me feel so isolated. I am truly sorry.

I am so encouraged and inspired by your heart to do God's will. It often takes more courage and stamina to look to and follow His will in the simple things. (although food issues don't always seem so simple!)

I pray for your victory in this prayer to our Father.

Brandi said...

Oh, Missy, thank you so much for your words of encouragement and prayers!

Yes, it's about total surrender...nothing else.

The Lord made it clear to me that I can be free, but I need to obey His voice on a daily basis. It's almost like I "could" eat what I want when I want (all things are lawful,) but then I would not know the freedom He's offering.