Just Thought I'd Share

I just got 2 checks in the mail from the kids' allergist, each for $5. Apparently I had overpaid them at some point. As I looked at them, I felt the Lord remind me that this money is His provision. That it is not small...it is exciting! Suddenly gladness and thankfulness just began to well up inside me. Thank you, Lord!

I guess I should be as thankful for a $5 check as a $500 check. Maybe?

Baby And Me At 18 Weeks

Think...

Pink!

Yes, it's a girl. We are thrilled! Now we have 2 boys and 2 girls. Abigail has a sister and baby girl will share a room with her one day. Plus I still have a lot of girl clothes from Abby.

And most importantly, baby girl is totally healthy. She's weighing in at about 8 ounces.

(Btw, I am 18 weeks...almost 1/2 way there!)

It Will Be Interesting To See How This Goes...

This is my fourth pregnancy. In the past, I have taken a very common take on eating in pregnancy which goes something like this:

"Eat what you want, when you want and however much you want. You are getting big anyway...this is your chance to be a justified glutton."

This year after completing a diet where I finally shed all of the baby weight I had accumulated with three children, it became apparent to me that I had gone from one extreme to another. While I did not have an eating disorder, I definitely had some disordered thinking and behaviors associated with eating that, I believe, could have led to a real eating disorder like anorexia. Basically, although I was a size 2-4, I still felt fatter than ever. I definitely felt fatter than before I started the diet.

I have come a long way since then, but I definitely wouldn't say that I am healed of this disordered thinking. But I am thankful to the Lord that He has shown me the errors in my thinking and has shown me that He is willing and able to see me through to total healing.

So, it's just an interesting dynamic now that I am supposed to get bigger and gain weight. Will I go overboard with eating like I have with every other pregnancy and gain way too much? Or will I continually have to fight myself to not deprive my body and my baby of the food we need to have a healthy pregnancy?

Some times I slip back into the "eat whatever I want" mentality and at the same time, I get really concerned about gaining too much. Like this morning, I weighed and I had gained a pound in the past week. That is what I am supposed to do. But it feels like I was bad. I would have felt better if the scaled showed the same weight or a loss. My mind quickly sees the truth when the Holy Spirit exposes the lie, but it still bugs me that my first instinct is that a higher number on the scale means I have been bad.

I have a hard time finding balance. On one hand, it might make sense to throw out the scales so that I don't get all obsessed with them, but I really think that if I did that, I could easily revert back to total gluttony and gain way too much weight.

For now, I weigh once per week...no more. (I used to weigh several times per day.) And I pray continually for the Lord to show me my successes and failures in His eyes. That I won't gauge them by a stupid number on the scale.

One day at a time!

My Heart Is Hurting

A dear friend of mine found out today that she has breast cancer. She has had pain under her arm for a while and thought she had just pulled a muscle. When it didn't go away, she went to the doctor and they found the lump and after testing, they have diagnosed her with Invasive Ductal Breast Cancer. On a scale of 1-3 for aggressiveness, hers is grade 3. I don't know yet the stage or if it has matestisized (spread.) I don't think they even know yet.

She goes in a few days to discuss treatment options, but it looks like she will need to undergo a double mastectomy and removal of her uterus followed by chemo.

To complicate matters, they have no health insurance. Eric and I are hopeful that the Church (meaning the body of Christ) will step up and relieve them of the burden on finances. The last thing they should have to think about right now is money.

She is about 36 and has two boys, 4 and 6 and a husband.

She has been a rock for many people in times of trial, including myself. She has always been there with prayer, a meal, encouraging words, money...whatever was needed. She has given of herself tirelessly in the church wherever she was needed. She sees a need, she tackles it. That's just how she is.

Both her mother and sister are breast cancer survivors.

Please join me in praying for my friend, Debbie. Pray for total healing, provision of strength, wisdom, finances, even joy...whatever is needed.

The song, "More Than You'll Ever Know" by Watermark has always reminded me of Debbie. She's that kind of friend. Here's the Youtube video if you'd like to hear the song. Just ignore the Aslan stuff :-)

How Do We Abide In Him?

And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment. Now he who keeps His commandments (remember the stuff in italics?) abides in Him, and He in him.

1 John 3:23-24

I love learning new things in His Word!

Who Am I?

I used to love coffee...now the smell makes me go "bleach!"
I used to bound out of bed, excited to face the day...now all I want to do is stay in bed ALL day.
I used to stay on top of the laundry...now it's threatening to take over.
I used to be able to make it on 6-7 hours of sleep if I had to...not I'm dead if I don't get at least 8.
I used to enjoy blogging once or twice a week...now I just can't find the time or inspiration.

I seriously don't know me.

What's going on???

Oh, yeah, that little babe inside of me is turning my world upside down!!

Will I ever be back to "normal?" ;-)

By the way, the babe will be 13 weeks tomorrow!

A Worthwhile Read on Thankfulness

A read so worthwhile, that it motivated me to break my 16 day pregnancy-induced blog silence ;-)

I am subscribed to a list called "Laine's Letters." I absolutely love each one of her letters. They never cease to encourage and motivate me to being a woman of God who serves Him and her family well.

You can learn more here.

Dear Sisters,
It was a hard week last week. A lot to pray about. But our Father is faithful, and how we need to cling to Him during the tough times, as well as the good times. But during the tough times it is so good to nestle with Him a bit longer, isn't it? He can take us through anything. I happen to be one of His weakest kids, so I need Him so much. It is very true that when we are weak, He is strong.

It is Thanksgiving week, and we have so much to be thankful for, don't we? My mother used to tell me when times were hard for her that she only had room for one thought at a time in her mind, and she decided she would learn to make that a thankful thought to the LORD, rather than a fretful or worrisome thought. She's been practicing this kind of "Thanksgiving Thinking" for years now. Ever since I was a child. I have to say she is one of the most thankful and joyful people I know. I absolutely love being around her.

When our septic tank almost flooded over recently, I found myself almost automatically thanking God for everything I could think of in this situation. I know it is from my thanksgiving upbringing.

For when I was a child I remember the electricity being turned off at our house. Times were hard. But Mom was thanking God that night for our candles and how their glow made the casserole Grandma brought over look just like pizza. She almost had me convinced it even tasted like pizza! And when we had to live in a Volkswagen van for months and months while sleeping at rest stops or campgrounds along the highway, I never felt sorry for myself. How could I with a mother who saw thanksgiving in everything. I only saw her break down once and cry because she so desired a hot shower after being on the road so long. The rest of the time she made us feel like we were on this incredible adventure and so fortunate to be a part of it. We were so fortunate that even our two cats were with us!

There is nothing like a thankful Mama in the house. Or a thankful Mama in a Volkswagen van. For wherever my mother was that place was surely home.

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." Colossians 3:15

Oh, may God help me to be a thankful Mama in our house, as He has helped my own mother.

"For in this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I am overcome the world."

This verse is so true, isn't it? We do have tribulation in this world. But as the LORD says, "Be of good cheer! I have overcome the world!"

"Be of good cheer!"

"Be ye thankful!"

"I have overcome the world!"

You know the verse in Proverbs that says, "It is better to live on a corner of a roof than with a contentious woman?"

Well, it is absolutely wonderful to live inside a house, or even a van, with a very contented woman. And without a doubt, a contented woman is a very thankful and joyful woman.

Maybe you didn't grow up with a thankful mother. Maybe you don't know how to be thankful, especially in tough times. Well, as my mom was telling a friend recently who was struggling through this difficulty, "We only have room for one thought at a time in our minds, so we do well to make it a thankful thought to God our Father. By the time we're done thoroughly thanking Him, things aren't as bad as we first were thinking. And then we find ourselves rejoicing in His goodness to us."

You know what?

Mom is right.

And she didn't just thank God in the good of her life, but she also thanked Him through the very difficult. To this day.

"Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the Name of our LORD Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20

"In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

"To the end that my glory may sing praise to Thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto Thee for ever." Psalm 30:12

Dear sisters, a thankful Mama makes a house or a van a real home, no matter what kind of difficulty is going on.

I know firsthand.

I choose to thank my Heavenly Father, too, in the Name of my LORD, Jesus Christ. Even during the difficulties. Especially during the difficulties. Praise His Holy, Holy Name!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. May we be blessed with "Thanksgiving Thinking" all year long to the glory and praise of our Father, and for the joy of our dear families.

Maybe then we'll be blessed with those beautiful laugh lines around our eyes that light up my precious mother's face.

Love,
Laine

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Laine's official website: http://www.lainesletters.com
To subscribe: Laines_Letters-subscribe@welovegod.org
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What I've Been Up To Lately

The above is a picture of an eight-week-old baby, and that's what I have in my tummy right now. :-) I'm very happy that we are expecting our fourth child at the end of June, but at this stage I've been feeling pretty yucky a lot of the time. Still, the yucky feeling is worth it!

The kids are soooo excited about there being a "baby in mommy's tummy," they keep asking about the baby, wanting to know details about the baby, and they even try to poke around to feel the baby or "find it" with binoculars while looking down my mouth. :-)

Just thought I'd give everyone an update!

His Promise Part 5

I have been meaning to post about my progress with eating issues for a while, but I have just had a hard time fitting it in. Some of us are participating in a book discussion and here is my answer to the question, "Describe where you are in your journey to freedom from gluttony." Here's my answer:

I would say that I am 90% “there.” Meaning I can “taste” freedom. (Pun intended!) I am characterized by not giving into gluttony (bummer...now this is sure to be tested!!) and I am usually not tempted. Even in “trigger times” like stress and depression, I am not likely to immediately want to eat. I give God all of the glory and I am so grateful. I also know that I will need to be on my guard the rest of my life, but I am happy with my progress.


Thank You, Lord. I am so grateful!

Saved Through Childbearing?

Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control. I Timothy 2:15

This is one of those verses that I have always read and accepted the fact that I would never understand it. I don't disagree with any of God's word. If it doesn't make sense, I just assume it's because I'm human and therefore flawed. :-)

When I came to this one in my daily Bible reading today, I decided to look at the study notes in my Bible...muttering to myself, "I wonder what you have to say about this one! I was pleasantly surprised! I really like their explanation in Nelson's NKJV Study Bible:

The salvation referred to here is not justification, but daily sanctification. Most likely, Paul is referring to being delivered from the desire to dominate by recognizing one's appropriate place in God's creation order.

As a woman who, in the flesh, can have a tendency to want to dominate AND who has had the privilege of bearing 3 children, I can totally relate to this interpretation!

As a woman, childbearing forces me to recognize my dependence on my husband...Sure, many woman "do it on their own," whether they choose to or are forced to. But for me, the womanly role of bearing and nurturing life does serve as a reminder that I am the "weaker vessel" and that I am not created to dominate. I need my strong, brave, secure, godly husband to lead, guide and protect me and our children and I am so thankful that he does just that by the grace of God.

...if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.

In childbearing, I learn faith every day by choosing to believe that God can save, sanctify and protect my children. I daily learn love by choosing to die to myself daily (hourly?) and love them in countless ways. I daily learn holiness by choosing to submit to the Lord's way (kindness, mercy, peace and diligence) instead of my ways (selfishness, resentment, chaos and laziness). And all of these are exercises in self-control!

Boy, I truly believe God uses my children in my daily sanctification more than any other tool in His hand. I am so grateful to Him. His ways are so good!

The ways of the Lord are right. The righteous walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them. Hosea 14:9

Reminder--21-Day Habit Challenge Starts Tomorrow!

If you don't know what I am talking about, go here.

I know many of you have said that you will join us and I a thrilled! Leave me a comment here so I will know that you are still with us. I am excited to have friends to walk together with!

My habit will be to read my daily Old Testament Bible readings each day. I am reading through the Bible in a year and I am behind on OT. I am going to aim for reading a little more than the daily amount so I can catch up, but for the purpose of the challenge, I am committing to the daily readings.

I also am committing to go to bed (as in lights out) by 10:00 every Saturday through Thursday night unless we are out of town. (This was my previous challenge that I am seeking to maintain.)

I am going to try to have daily check-ins. I will likely miss a day here and there. :-) They will be here.

I hope my techie-hubby can help me to have this link conveniently at the top of this blog.

Aren't They Cute?

Aunt Debbie,

Abigail wants you to know that your pig is being well cared for. She is now a princess, complete with tiara and jewels. :-)

Modesty In Dress

From today's Seeking Him Devotional

October 20, 2008

Modesty Quiz 2

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: What do you believe about clothing and modesty? Here’s a quick true-or-false quiz to help you get started thinking about the issue.

“True or false? Modesty means being outdated, dumpy, and unattractive.”

Nancy: That’s false. We may not be able to wear all the popular trends, but it really is possible to be modest and fashionable.

“Our clothes and appearance reveal a lot about our values, characters, and beliefs.”

Nancy: That one’s true. A woman’s clothing and appearance are powerful nonverbal communicators of what she believes.

“What I wear isn’t anyone else’s business. I should be free to dress however I want.”

Nancy: And that’s false. Everything we do, including the way we dress, affects others. As Christian women, we want to be sensitive to the men around us and not put any temptation in their path.

Would you ask God to help you glorify Him in what you wear?

With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

This transcript is taken from the nationally-syndicated
daily radio program Seeking Him with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

What are your thoughts on ladies' dress? Do you have any personal thoughts on dress guidelines or boundaries you'd like to share? Do you ever struggle (as I do) with dressing to be attractive for your husband while remaining "above reproach" with regard to modesty?

If you would like to subscribe to these daily e-mails, visit www.reviveourhearts.com and subscribe to the Seeking Him Devotional.

Love...

...is ever ready to believe the best of every person. 1 Corinthians 13:7 (Amplified Bible)

Today, I learned first-hand how important it is to "believe the best of every person." There was a misunderstanding today. Somebody was offended by something that I said and told me so in no uncertain terms. They completely misunderstood what I was trying to communicate and the heart behind it. They were obviously hurt.

It saddens me that they were hurt. But the truth is, I am hurt as well. Not because they misunderstood me, but because (although we have been friends for a really long time) they presumed the worst about me. They didn't take the time to clarify before attacking my character. I don't think I have ever been so hurt myself over a miscommunication before. I have forgiven them the best I know how, though I know it will likely be an ongoing process.

Habit Challenge Will Start Again Soon!

The last Habit Challenge was such a success that I am ready to do it again. We will start the next habit challenge a week from tomorrow. It will go from Wednesday, October 22-Tuesday, November 11th.

If you'd like to join us, please let me know in the comments. You will need to prayerfully choose a habit that you commit to doing every day for 21 days. The key is to start small and commit to follow through every day for 21 days. Then, you will have a new, positive habit that will come naturally to you (or at least more naturally than before!)

For more information on choosing a habit, go here.

As before, we will have regular check-ins, but I hopefully (with the help of my hunky techie/husband) will be able to figure a way to do it off-site. so as not to totally clog my blog with Habit Challenge Check-in posts. :-)

I am not sure yet what my habit will be this time, but I know I will also commit to maintaining the habit of going to bed on time. It has made a huge difference in my life in so many ways.

Thank You

I just want to take a moment to say, "thank you" to the man who has given me one of the most precious gifts anyone could give me. My husband works very hard (he is at work right now, in fact) so that I can be home with our children full-time.

There were seasons of my life when I had little appreciation for the ability to stay home. Although I thoroughly enjoyed it, I actually felt like it was I who was doing them a favor. But as the Lord has matured me, and through other events in our lives (including a 3 year stint of working part time outside of our home), I have come to realize that I am one of the most blessed women in the world to be able to be with our children all day, every day.

I get to be here when they have a question about God, when they choose to open up their hearts, when they are scared or sad, when they just are playing but it's oh, so cute! I wouldn't trade that for anything.

In order for me to be home, we have made a lot of sacrifices, but I feel so rich...all of the sacrifices are worth it. SO worth it!

There is so much more on my heart, but words fail me. I just wanted to say, Thank you, Honey. Thank you for taking care of us.

For Layna

Layna, I am so proud of you sticking with this challenge. Spending time with the Lord, in my opinion, is the most important habit anyone can choose to form. You did great!

And now, here is your haiku:

It's a miracle.
A busy college student
Seeks first His kingdom.

For Elly

Elly, I am just so thrilled that you joined us "late" and finished so well. That shows me that you don't look for excuses. You did great!

Here is your haiku:

She made up her mind.
She listened to her body.
Her body says, "Thanks!"

For Tami

Tami, you did so well! Although (like me) you didn't quite make it to 19/21 days, I can tell that you have given it your best and I have enjoyed walking through this challenge with you.

Here's your haiku:

Physical training,
And serving Hubby breakfast,
Both godly habits.